Aspie adventures....female style

Doing my best to enjoy parenting a teenage daughter with Asperger's Syndrome.

Wednesday, June 21, 2006

Summer Dialogues

E: "oh,oh,oh,oh,oh,oh,oh,oh,oh,oh "(done in a sing-song voice)
"Oh I got you good, oh I got you good, oh I got you good, oh I got you good"
J: "Peanut butter toast!" (pause) That's gonna happen to us someday"
E: "oh what now, what now, what (clap clap clap)
J: "squish, squish, squish, squish"
(random clap)
Both: "what what what what, what what what what" (done to here comes the bride)
Both: "what what what what ...what what what what" (done to oh christmas tree)
J: "I'm gonna set the world record for staying down on this thing"
(random noise...sounds like gas.... no one laughs so can't be gas)

Friday, June 09, 2006

Do it yourself


I logged on to check my mail this morning and in the center of my home page was a headline announcing at home treatments for depression. "I’ve been a bit depressed lately" I thought to myself..."I should read that."
Step one was to "set realistic goals and don’t take on too much responsibility"
Hmmm, I suppose I could whittle laundry down to once a week. And one healthy dinner is better than none so I could bypass all that shopping for fresh produce, all the shaking and sniffing of fresh fruit, and go straight for the Easy Mac.... that should help. A weight was beginning to lift off my shoulders and I read on.
"Avoid drinking alcohol or using illegal drugs during depressed episodes" Wow! I sure am glad that they qualified that because I don’t think I could "do it all" if it weren’t for the illegal drugs. Huh....I wonder if draining all the money from our savings, dodging those nasty collection phone calls from Tony "Bananas" Casella , and all those late sleepless nights in the alley behind the Thrifty buying and using are contributing to my depression?! Nahhhh.
"Get adequate sleep" If you have problems sleeping:
*keep your bedroom dark and free of noise
....well it is usually dark until the kids come in and flip the lights on to tell us the score of the baseball game they saw on tv...then it’s dark again until they remember the homework they left at school and how we needed to e-mail their teacher so they wouldn’t get in trouble...then it’s usually dark again for a while until the cat comes in followed by the dog and I have to turn the light on to find the cat and throw them both into the hall, at which time the "mood" is usually gone so then the noise thing is no longer an issue.
"Let your family and friends help you" I have tried this before. I remember the time I asked the kids to take their piles of freshly washed and folded clothes up to their rooms allowing me a leisurely two extra minutes to think about dinner. This is good I thought, getting the kids to help me out. After what seemed like an eternity, my two minutes were up and I headed out to the kitchen to find the kids clothes on the floor at the foot of the stairs covered in cat hair as they hurled the cat from half way up the staircase into the pile, because after all, you wouldn’t want to hurt the cat.
Then there was that time my Mom offered to take the kids for the day to give me a break...allowing me time to re-wash and re-fold the kids clothes and shop for the one healthy dinner I was going to make that week. She made elaborate plans and the kids were so excited and couldn’t stop talking about it. Then without warning the phone rang and before I knew it the kids were in tears...it sounded like "Waaaaaaaa sniff sniff Gramma waaaa and she sniff waaaaaaaa
can’t waaaaaaaa waaaaaaaaaaa so we sniff sniff aren’t WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA"
which then greatly interfered with my schedule as I had to make several extra trips to the alley behind the Thrifty just to get through the weekend.
"Postpone major life decisions such as divorce" I pondered this one for a while and began to wonder if the whole marriage thing is what causes the depression in the first place. No marriage no husband, no kids, no nagging concerns about their health, no freshly washed clothes covered in cat hair, no hysterical crying episodes, no need for illegal drugs to cope( eliminating the gambling problem altogether) resulting in a perfectly dark and noise free bedroom allowing for a wonderful night’s sleep.
"Be patient and kind to yourself" I guess after 15 years I should quit waiting around for that! Be patient and kind to yourself cuz no one else is gonna be.
"Try to share your feelings, it’s better than being secretive" I don’t know about that...I guess that all depends....I mean I think my feelings about the guy that’s doing the roof down the street are probably better off kept to myself...especially on the sunny hot afternoons. And I am sure that my feelings about "Perky Blonde Mom" at school are not something that would benefit anyone to share....this one is definitely debatable.
Well...I gotta go.....there are a few things I need from the Thrifty.

Tuesday, June 06, 2006


So it's June 6, 2006.......a Tuesday. Last night my daughter came into my room and asked if she could stay home today. As this is the same questions she has asked each night since Kindergarten I gave her the same answer as I always do...."if your temperature is above 103*.......if you haven't kept food down for the last 24 hours.....or if there are parts of your body that won't move despite your best effort" (just kidding) I said "NO". It was then that she informed me about the date of 6-6-06. I guess the seperation of church and state only applies to subjects outside of Satan, because the school district sent home fliers, did all their fire drills and lockdown drills and set everyone on high alert for this random connection between the day of the week and the personification of Lucifer himself!
Within the hour my son came into my room (notice how I am seemingly always in my room) asking if he could stay home from school as well because someone might blow up the school.
To this I answered..."Oh what the Hell" (ok that was funny!) I'll let you know what happens : )

Thursday, June 01, 2006

Rise and Shine

E was up most of the night and now that it is time for school she is sound asleep on the couch. J, bright and cheery, is ready for carpool 5 minutes early with backpack on and ready to go.

(Sitting on the couch next to his sleeping sister) J: "Why don't you start waking up like mom told you to?!"
(Half-asleep and breathing steady) E: "Why don't you LEAVE like the rest of the world told you to?!"

J: "Mom's gonna put you in foster care, foster care, foster care!"

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