Tomorrow's IEP Meeting ....or Welcome to Hell, Here is Your Handbasket

I am sitting here at my laptop surrounded by papers and checklists describing the best way to write an IEP. You see, tomorrow is my big meeting with the school district. And after all the "whining" I have done, and the fact that the middle school has gone out of their way
to ask one person in the Special Services department
to peek from a minimum distance of 100 yards at E
while she was eating lunch
to make the unanimous decision that "she is doing very well"
regardless of her GPA of 1.0...
I better WOW them with my parental wisdom!
As I was on page 4 of an 8 page checklist, and checking the box "becomes irritated if bumped or touched by peers", I dropped my pencil, slouched down in my chair and said to the dog...."I am about as qualified to do this as you are!"
As if it were the Magic 8 Ball, I went back to Google to ask about writing a brilliant IEP in one step or less. With hope lost I clicked on "The lighter side of the IEP."( Ahhhhhh...I am not alone.)

The Invitation
Your school district, in an ongoing effort to remind you of the incredibly small role moms and dads play in this process, will start by sending you an "Invitation" to attend your child's IEP meeting. Of course, the parents are the only ones on the team who receive such an invitation, as though the district expects that you may politely decline and simply send a gift instead.
The IEP Meeting
When you appear for the meeting, you will again be reminded of the peripheral nature of your participation when you discover that the school has rented a small baseball stadium to accommodate all the members of your child's team. You are the only ones who are not in the employ of the district.
Moreover, all district personnel are seated on full size chairs while you are left to sit on the little plastic children's chairs.
The members of the TEAM will fix their collective glare on you because you had the gall to give birth to this child at all, and look how many people are now inconvenienced.
The IEP
The first order of business is to READ THE IEP. This is a necessary feature of every IEP meeting because school districts are of the firm belief that no parent of a disabled child has ever learned how to read.
This activity serves the added purposes of assuring that parents don't have a chance to speak, and of consuming the full 45 minutes allotted for the meeting. You will then be asked to reschedule at a time that is designed to be as inconvenient for you as possible, such as next year on Christmas.
Well........wish me luck!