Desitin...take me away

I discovered today that Calgon has nothing on Desitin. I have both of these products in the cabinet of my master bathroom...my sanctuary.....my retreat....yes, my personal asylum. After the daily exchange with E this morning, I subconciously fell back on to the old chant of "Calgon, take me away!"
As the warm water filled the oasis bath, and my long hair flowed in supple waves down my back (oh sorry...a little too dramatic) I pondered the "take me away" part of that popular ditty. Sure, escaping this routine would be nice, and I guess that's where the advertisers were hoping your mind would stop and your hand would pour in the Calgon and the fantasy begins. But isn't that where Lydia Bennet made her grave mistake?
You see, Calgon, in all reality, is the Mr. Wickham of bath products...sure it promises to take you away but what if you don't want to go to Scotland or London for that matter....only to find yourself stuck with more trouble than you had before you left.
No! It's Desitin you want...the Mr. Darcy of the bathroom. For Desitin protects, relieves and promotes healing. Yes! Yes! Yes!