What's your handicap?

Something has happened that seems very very strange to me. Something so odd that I can't seem to wrap my brain around it. You see, prior to June of 2008 every handicap parking space on the planet was empty. No lie! No matter where I was, I drove past hundreds of wide open handicap spaces, each one more tempting than the last...while my tumor filled hips and back and neck and shoulders ached and throbbed. Then it happened.....the day of days.....the day we all wish for but without the reality attached of course....the day your Dr. issues you a....wait for it......handicap parking plackard!

It was beautiful....so red....and glossy.. the sun shining off it's lamenated outer coating as it hung from my mirror.

Sounds wonderful doesn't it? Oh but things changed that day.....proudly I told myself I would only use it if I HAD to.... "I am a good, thoughtful person who will not abuse this glorious gift from God" I said. Then I pulled into the parking lot.....as I headed for a standard parking place it hit me like a fever....."you can park in a handicap space" the voices began to whisper.....and I could feel the hair on the back of my neck stand up.......my eyebrows seemed to raise and my eyelids dropped low over my eyes....every ounce of "thoughtful person" was suddenly hipnotized by my red glossy plackard. The hunt was on ! Like a drug addict I searched for an available handicap space...I couldn't believe my eyes...they were FULL! Every single one of them!

This was true at the next store and the next and the next! How could this be? Anger and bitterness began to creep in....I began to get angry at the disabled! I began to compare disabilities...make assumptions and accusations....things like "C'mon you can walk without that walker...that's why you got the knee replacement in the first place isn't it?" Or "Old isn't a disability lady....walk it off....from the regular parking space if that's "ok" with you"

I began to think of what I would say if someone took me on....."Second time around for me punkin'! Tumor in my skull....looks like a beret.....spine like a black crayon.....wanna say something now?" I was so satisfied with my newfound comeback I was almost begging for someone to say something...anything....just look at me funny....I was ready to fire!

I think I became a member that day....a member of the bitter disabled parking permit people's club. Oh it exsists and I now carry the card...because they send you one in the mail...for your wallet....so you can shove it in someone's face if they challenge your disabled-ness.

I discovered true disability that day....one they don't give you a pass for! I was not proud of that.

So my red, glossy plackard sits comfortably in my glove box most of the time now.....unless of course I am out of town...where no one knows me...or it's hot out....or the first spot is open....just kidding.....except the last one, that one was true.